I have been asked to talk about old sofa's

Please do not invest in second hand sofas' they are dirty and are a health and safety issue in relation to bacteria of all natures', especially in relation to human relations and extra activities of an adult nature.

The proposal is, that even though we are not doing business for the moment due to enviromental concerns'........and other issues of a more concerning nature, meaning the links between business merchants being broken because of a fear of an insider attack, we will be offering deals' on your old sofa's in a re-upholstery business, whereby we will pick up your old sofa and re-materialise it for you.

will we use just the frame and charge you half the price of a brand new sofa.

I have also been requested to state, not to invest in buying glass televisions' as they are highly hazardous to childrens health, they have had a tendency to full onto and or on top of children, when children are in active mode.

Plasma screens are child friendly.

I will not be attending eid prayers' today.....I hope you understand.